Name:     Michael L. S.   [E-Mail]
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      Website:  Middle East Resource Center


 

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Oh wow:



Ladies and gentleman, that is a former college classmate of mine. (And, of course, I have her permission to post her picture here.) She e-mailed me a couple of days ago out of the blue to wish me a merry Xmas and a happy New Year, etc. (I set her straight soon enough on the Xmas bit ) and we started catching up on things. My goodness, I nearly fell off my chair when I "saw" her. She HAS changed. Still sweet and pretty but no longer as ditzy as she used to be back, oh, four, five years... - not, of course, that there's anything wrong with being slightly ditzy. Well, I'm extremely glad to be in touch again with people who seemed to have drifted out of my life (even if not always so in happy circumstances). But there IS a deeper point to this post than Sandra. Oh come on, you know I have to "intellectualize it up" a bit, right! After all, I DO have "illusions of grandeur"!

I had my birthday a few weeks ago--I turned 25--and it got me thinking. (For those of you who've heard me moan about this before, feel free to skip the next two paragraphs. ) I cannot believe I'm 25. Since I have this notion that I will not make it past fifty, this point, then, would signal the conclusion of the first half of my life. I do not find that tragic in itself although it IS slightly unsettling: not that long ago it would never have occurred to me to quantify longevity. Life was there ahead of me, stretching forward as far as I could see and beyond. I knew I would start thinking about death some time; I only reckoned that would not be until I was well in my twenties. Well, whaddaya know: now I am. *sniffle* But that's not the point. I know I'm still very young so it's not a big deal. It's something else that occurred to me which I wanted to mention. Now, I'm decidedly NOT a retrospective person, one to hark back, analyze the mistakes, forfeited opportunities, what-ifs, coulda-shoulda-wouldas. In fact, I find such activity to be wholly unprofitable and quite inane; immature. We should learn from our mistakes, by all means, but to allocate more than a fleeting second to sorrow or longing for something in the past is truly futile and potentially damaging to one's self-esteem and to one's capacity to marshall the future as best as one can. Basically, let bygones be bygones and look forward to the infinite opportunities that the future holds. Having said all this, you might demur at what I'm about to say: I REALLY wish I had not spent my time in high school and at college the way I did. Some of you knew me back then, others (luckily) did not. I'm not ashamed of how I was and what I squandered my time and money on, I just fervently wish I could return to that time and live it over again. Those of you who are lucky (yes, LUCKY) enough still to be at school, by Jove enjoy every minute of it. Don't waster your time on angst, extremism, and what you might see as utopian ideas. Fact is, you are in all likelihood not mature enough to have been able to form genuinely firm and rational views. That is not to say that you should not espouse any views; I am merely adjuring you not to enthrone them as the focal point of your lives. Pupils and students cannot change the world anyway so put your attention to where it belongs; you have no real responsibilities yet so use this to your advantage. Believe me, enjoying this time with your friends--indeed making friends and widening your circles--, falling in love, being a bit crazy is what will mark this period of your lives. When I was young, both my parents and grandparents kept reiterating to me: enjoy your schooldays, it is the best time you'll ever have had. And I thought: what bullshit, I can't wait to grow up. Well, they were right.

But son of a gun, time DOES fly by. Some memories I have go back 21 years. That's more than two decades. Goodness, I can still remember my time in the kindergarten when the biggest worry I had in the whole world was: I hope to G-d they don't give us those disgusting green beans for lunch today. Sheesh. And here I am now buying a place to live and, indeed, wondering in which country to settle. I couldn't wait to reach the age of twelve (that used to be the legal limit above which children could ride in the front seats in automobiles)--see the silly preoccupations some kids have --and this is me having twice exceeded that limit. And that perennial consternation: when will I be eighteen already, oh when, oh when. If only I could go back to wondering about that... This is not feeling sorry for myself in any way though; it's more of a reminiscence, trying to find a context for my life and put it there.

And what IS that context? Well, life it ephemeral. Against the backdrop of the infinity of space and time, it amount to literally nothing. Imagine that: I, one individual, among six billion others, on a tiny planet circling a spec of a "star" which is in a morsel of a galaxy of which there are googols and googols more. And behold, here is me thinking my life and my problems are of some importance. You know what the solution is? Let's just say that the phrase "don't worry, be happy" is much more than a melodious ditty. "De-problemize" your life. Your parents, partner, friends, boss, neighbor, government screwing you? Screw them. They'll pass away just as you will, and humus will conquer all. So don't fritter away the time you have before the humus gets you exercising yourself about things which will be of no importance to anyone by and by. OK, before y'all start musing whether I've gone nuts, let's move on.

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Hehe, probably because I use "big" words and write about things on the more "intellectual" side of life, "some people" seem to think I have delusions of grandeur. No names... ...but get a life. And well, first reactions to my series on religion have been coming in. It IS amazing just how big idiots some people can be. Get this, from--shamefully--a Michael: "Your one sad guy [...] you sling mud on all religions exept your own." *sigh* NOW do y'all see why I keep saying that I hate nothing more than injustice and human stupidity? Because this Michael's retardation has advanced to such a level that it is impossible to tackle rationally. There are two ways I could answer this: (1) I COULD be courteous and bring to this individual's attention the fact that I've not extolled any religion, including my own (oh, wait a second, I do not HAVE "my own" religion...what now, Michael? *fazed*), and that I've dealt--rather objectively, I think--with all religions of a particular type in my "series" here, or (2) I could tell him that he's a semi-literate fuckwit who got some crazy-ass comprehension problems. No two guesses there.

THE SECOND ONE, Michael, the second one.

I'll address some of the polemic I've received next time.

Heyeh shalom!

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